and there she is.

I knew it would happen eventually. I've finally met her. It was just on friday. She was so amazing, my heart almost fell out of my chest when I saw her. I was just speechless. Literelly. I couldn't say anything.

she's so different. she doesn't act like anyone else (or so it seems) and she doesn't walk or talk like anyone else.

when i got home she asked me to hang out. we talked for hours afterwards. i knew it. like i said, we were meant to be together. it just takes time. i believe in magic, and i believe that love makes magic. i believe love has worked its magic on me.

i'm still tired of waiting though. she's on my mind 24/7. i need to tell her soon. i've set a deadline for myself, I believe it's July 15th 2009 at 5:09pm. If I don't by then, then I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

I know it'll be before then though. I would hate to jinx myself, I just want to believe that everything is going to turn out the way it's supposed to.

I can be myself around her. It's easy as pie. though pie isn't too easy. it just comes naturally i guess. i don't have to think hard of what to say, or be worrying about what to say and if i'll sound weird or cool or just stupid. i just act like.. steph.

i haven't talked to her in a few days.
i'm getting anxious.
we're going to watch scary movies
and stay up all night talking.
the days are going to go by slow until then though, because i'm impatient.
some would say i'm not.
i mean, i have been waiting for her since july.

Soul mates.

Do you believe in soulmates?
I sure do.

I think everyone has one person that they are meant to be with, and everyone meets that person, but not always do they realize that it's them who they were intended to love for the rest of their now sorrow lives.

I also think that sometimes one of us knows, but the other doesn't.


This exact thing is happening to me right now.
I know it. I know I'm supposed to be with this person. I haven't even met them in real life yet, but I know. It's unexplainable, the feeling. You can only understand if you are the one experiencing it. But I know that this person is who I am meant to be with. Many would say that, every time we are supposed to meet in person and end up not meeting is a sign that we aren't supposed to be together, but I just say it means she isn't ready.

I know for sure that I am though.

I have been waiting almost a year now and I can hardly take it any longer. I just want to say I love you all the time, I can hardly maintain a proper conversation for more than 3 minutes though. Her interest in me is limited, and in my eyes it is because I am not of her little group. "Scene" or whatever you may, I am far from it. She has colourful hair and cool clothes and shitloads of makeup, which I bet she would look just fine without. I have blond/brown hair, some pattern shirts and skinnies, and 2 pairs of shoes.

I wish that we coulde've started off non appearence based. I find that when I am online talking to people for quite awhile, then they turn out to me not very appealing to the eye, I still think they're absolutly irreplaceably fabulous.

I know we're meant to be together though.
No matter what I do I can't seem to make this feeling go away.
No matter how many flaws of hers someone points out to me I can always seem to look past them quite easily.
I guess when the time is right then she'll feel it too.
I'll just have to wait for now though.